It’s the countdown to Christmas. And I’ve FINALLY decided to join the party.
Except…i’m not doing it this year. haha. There is a reason I’ve created a How To Spend Christmas Alone Guide.
Yes, with the exception of a wicked awesome Christmas Fam Jam playlist the kids and I made LISTEN TO IT HERE ON SPOTIFY and putting the Christmas tree up in November (hahah, what can I say??? I like the pretty lights) this will be a year of skipping Christmas parties and celebrating only by spending an hour on Christmas day with my kids, via Skype or FaceTime.
But we choose to create the mood we want (for the most part). I was basically feeling sorry for myself, but I had no choice but to decide that was bullshit and create an incredible time for myself.
Hm…what will I do…?
** Crash other people’s unbearable family Christmas dinner and bring them joy and hilarity?
** Disappear to Mexico to help my friend build an orphanage?
** Spend thoughtful, long days embracing my alone time, with yoga and meditation?
** Get back to Nourish and writing you, as I have so far neglected entirely for December?
I’ve figured it out. And I am ecstatically excited. Woot!
Anyway, my kids are not with me this year. Boo. But also yay? Or I’m trying to look at it this way….
1) I can eat shrimp ring for breakfast on Christmas morning.
2) I can be as hungover as I want.
3) I can be so NOT hungover, because I get to skip all that Christmas indulgence.
4) I don’t even have to watch Christmas movies…because I’m not celebrating it.
5) I can find unusual and healthy ways to embrace the time — like doing yoga for 2 hours.
6) I don’t have to host ANY.BODY.
7) I will save SO MUCH MONEY not being the one to make the stockings this year (because let’s face it — it ends up being the most expensive part)
8) I do NOT have to hang out with annoying family members (obviously my kids are not included in “annoying” — they’re amazing) — I get to CHOOSE who I spend the day with
9) I will not complain of sugar withdrawal and a giant cheese-belly in January.
But THIS ONE IS BEST OF ALL: I get to drive to Cleveland on Christmas Day for a few days of fun and frolic. Yeeeeeeeesssss!
(Any tips of Cleveland? Give ‘em to me. I’m so excited.)
So when given lemons, I make lemonade. And that is all.
(Like when you desperately desperately need a haircut, and your awesome hair master is so full she can’t fit you in, and you feel like you’re hair is completely insane? … Make pigtails 🙂 🙂 🙂 )
I know there are some of you out there that feel an intense level of loneliness at this time. Nothing like being reminded you’re alone, to intensify that feeling of loneliness. It can be deep. It can be dark.
Except that you’re not. There are always others having entirely the same experience. Either find them… or just embrace this feeling and sink into it. Let it wrap itself around you so you know it is what you’re feeling. Then find ways to move through. Love yourself more intensely than you ever, ever have.
We all get waves of sadness. But when that sadness passes, we can often be left with a feeling of peace. Like how you aftera good cry. It’s not always bad. In fact, it can be very cathartic. Using booze and other distractions only prolong the experience of sadness. So beware of booze and distractions.
Perhaps this feeling is also shrouded with grief. Well, I get this. Except what I’ve learned about grief is this: You’ve got to feel it anyway. As scary as that is. Don’t be afraid. Just let it happen. The holidays can kind of force it upon you. Believe me, all my important people I’ve lost have died around now. And it’s also when I miss them the most. Christmas for me has always meant as much my mom’s birthday as it has been about Christmas. So I feel it more intensely, then move into the new year with a new perspective.
So feel feel feel… then find something really effing great to do. Yeah, yoga and meditation may not be your thing. And perhaps going to Cleveland is just not an option this year. But here is what I’d do otherwise:
1) Volunteer: Head to a local food bank, spend of time at the hospital, deliver meals to those who need it, visit a retirement home. Often (or always) lifting the spirits of others is the most rewarding time you can experience anyway.
2) Go to the cinema: Are you kidding me? Do you know how awesome it is to go to the movies alone? (It’s my favourite.) And don’t go to one. Double bill-it. Why not?! Most movie theatres are open.
3) Go for a nice meal somewhere, outside your house, and sit at the bar: That’s where I sit if I’m alone, and I end up meeting the most colourful of people. There aren’t a TON of places open Christmas Day. Use this to your advantage and know where all the other lonely hearts are headed.
4) Go on a Tinder date: hahahahah. I’m serious. There’s got to be some poor soul out there experiencing the same thing as you. Then match them to a recipe and write about it. hahaha. (I know I promised you all good Online Dating Adventure stories… but I haven’t had it in me to try one. Sorry. Maybe later.)
5) Make something truly healthy and nourishing: It’ll make you feel good. Believe me…in the end it’ll make you feel better than cheeseball.
Okay so… recap. It’s okay to feel weird and alone on Christmas. It’s not okay to get lost in it. The world is beautiful. Capture some of that beauty and hold it. Chances are it’s something you wouldn’t have seen if you were hanging with a bunch of in-laws and drinking too much.