BURN YOUR CAPE: (Nutrition B.S.) Mama Manifesto

Why a mama manifesto? Well, I’m sure at least SOME of you can relate to this. My house is empty this morning…

Yep, it’s just me. There is no dog. No one to wake up to get to school or make lunches for. No one to hog the covers from.

And it’s glorious!!!!

But…it used to make me very sad. Like, punch in the gut… deep lonely, pointlessness… super sad.

Yeah, being a single mama is the shits sometimes. But not always!!!! Sometimes I can’t believe that for about one day a week, and sometimes more, I get to do whatever the heck I want. And the thing I love about it MOST…is waking up and writing. Doing the self-care that feeds my soul. Sipping my espresso in silence…at the magic hour.

So…what has this got to do with you? Well…if you’re not a mom, or if your kids are grown up and gone, maybe this doesn’t relate to you (anymore — or maybe it still does). But I GUARANTEE it relates to SOMEBODY you know…

Everyone deserves a magic hour.

And the thing is…there was a time I didn’t get this. And if I wanted it I had to DEMAND it. Like it was some special kind of reward. Like it wasn’t exactly “deserved”. You know what I used to do? I used to wake up before 6am, a few times a week, and go for a run. Do I like to run? NO!!! But it was my magic hour. A somehow justified time that I only deserved if I was exercising (doing something I didn’t like, even) and exiting the house entirely.

What the…?!

I look back at this now and I can’t even believe it. Working crazy more-than-full-time hours, obsessing (not in a good way) over healthy eating but not having time to make dinner for six people who all ate differently, trying to start up a little business/blog that I felt i didn’t have time for or deserve to do, volunteering on this committee and that board, and FEELING GUILTY ALL THE TIME!!!!

Wow, times have changed. And retrospect is 20/20. And I get that. But the CHRONIC STRESS that motherhood brought with it was BRUTAL.

Drinking bottles of wine should not be your only form of self care…

And now…my priorities are VEEERRRRRRY different. I’m excited to say. I began the Burn Your Cape blog series many years ago, but when it started I did NOT walk the walk. Nope. Not even in the slightest. I had the biggest, reddest, brightest, hottest, heaviest cape on of all. And it wasn’t until I ACTUALLY BEGAN TO BURN IT that everything changed. I left a bad relationship. My relationship with food changed entirely. My health transformed. My weight became totally balanced. Even the way I exercise became more healthy. My skin began to glow. My hair got nicer. I began to feel happy in a way that I had never felt and never thought I could feel. I wish I was exaggerating. I’M NOT. This is really quite true. And anyone that knows me knows it to be true…

I know I know. It’s easier said than done. It is. You have to really know you need to do things for yourself, and really believe it enough to make sure that happens. That isn’t easy. But…the crazy part is…the smallest of changes can make this happen. I promise. I PROMISE!!!!!!!

Here is my Nutrition Bullshit Mama Manifesto. I want to gift it to you or to anyone you know who is a mom. PLEASE SHARE THIS LINK TO THEM. And I would be ever so grateful. Because if they had a chance to really feel good RIGHT NOW…I’d be filled with glee.

I don’t think you need to be a mother to relate to this. But there is something deep and dark that happens to women when they become mothers in today’s society. The expectations are out of control. And we mostly put them on ourselves. A better mother = a happier woman.

I can tell you this… My kids aren’t always with me now. It SUUUUUCKS (though some mornings are also glorious). But I kind of wish I could have been this chill of a mom all along. Because though I appreciate these alone moments when I can, I wish I could have been able to attain them the entire time I’ve been a mom. Because now when I’m with them I still demand the things I ALSO need. Their needs are still met. They know I’m happier. I know they’re just as awesome as ever, or maybe even a little more because their mom is finally chill AF. (I put that one in for you, PD.)

And once more…this: MAMA MANIFESTO

On Monday I’m going to ANNOUNCE HERE THE THING I did to transform my life as a mama, as a woman, as a human. I also have a little blog contest coming that I’ll announce next week. And the prizes are pretty awesome, actually. Woot.

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW AND SHARE WITH ME/US: Where do you find your magic hour? How do you “do it all”? Can you relate to this post? Do you have your own mama manifesto?

Sara xo

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

, , ,

2 Responses to BURN YOUR CAPE: (Nutrition B.S.) Mama Manifesto

  1. Sara March 24, 2017 at 8:57 am #

    I admit, I’m resistant to this post, because I got that I needed to take care of myself and I got that I deserved it. And I didn’t know how to make it happen. What I figured out later, was that I kind of did make it happen, but it wasn’t perfect and it often didn’t feel like enough and it rarely looked the way I wanted it to look. But I did the best I could.

    I started running too, not because I liked it, but because sometimes I needed to move my body more and even more than that I needed to just be in my own space with nobody needing me. I did C25K, which put parameters around what I was doing and made it easier to keep on track with. And I started to love running and I expanded from those 3 30-minute work outs 3x a week. A journaled at night or at 3AM after a feeding when the baby hadn’t burped yet and I was waiting to see. I read books from my childhood. With my older daughter, I walked. A lot. We worked up to 3 miles twice a day most days, not that I was going for mileage, but when she got fussy and I was out of ideas or I just couldn’t stand being in the house any longer, we walked. With my younger daughter it was harder. It was winter. I couldn’t navigate a stroller on our streets most days, shoes and blankets kept getting kicked off. I was not the hearty soul who wore a toddler in a backpack and the infant in a front carrier, though maybe that would have helped—or felt totally overwhelming.

    My kids are older now, and I do claim my time, more and more. But when they were babies, I couldn’t figure it out, and when people told me I needed time for me, that I deserved it, I agreed and felt either angry or disheartened that I couldn’t figure out how to make it happen. Because my house was a mess. I never knew when I was going to be able to get my work done, and I needed to work. I said no to doing a lot of things . . . but it wasn’t enough. So yes, we need and deserve it, and I still don’t know how to get through the earliest years except maybe reset your expectations.

    • Sara March 24, 2017 at 12:28 pm #

      Wow. Yes. Wow. Sara, thank you for sharing that. So much thank you. Yeah…I think it is about resetting expectations more than ANYTHING else. It’s also asking for that space from your kids. Not necessarily explaining it when they’re 14 months and hanging off your breast. But taking the time and knowing it’ll be okay — and that THEY WILL be okay, because they are loved. Explaining carefully to your partner that the dishes aren’t always going to be done. That you need to run for fun…not because you feel like you need to run away. But the struggle is real. Isn’t it?! xo

Leave a Reply